more on day one at orphanage

Day 1 in Dnepro
I wanted to write more detail about our experiences yesterday. We were so tired yesterday after this overwhelming day and so little sleep on the train that we came back to the apartment and Tyler and Dave went to sleep in their clothes and Dave didn’t even floss his teeth. This is serious people!! We teased him about it today and he said it was OK because it is really night at home and he will floss this morningJ
We arrived about 6 in the morning on the train which was a nicer train than the one to Ivano Frankivsk. It was another sleeping train (where you really can’t sleep) but it was like a slumber party with Oksana. She is such a fun person. She was wearing the socks that Amy Rast gave her. I thought she said these are Amy Ross socks and I said “that’s great” and then she went on to tell how Amy gave them to her and then I realized that they were Amy RAST’S socks. She also brought Wendy’s bathrobe and she will need it. She is such a mover and a shaker and gets so much done in a day that it is amazing. I sure hope that she is relaxing at night.
We went to the apartment we are in and we were worried about what we would find when the price was only 20 dollars a day. When we got here the outside was scary but it is right next to the orphanage and also an outside market where we can buy fresh fruits and vegetables. When we walked in the apt we were pleasantly surprised at the nice and clean room. It has a bed and a couch type bed in one room which is our living room and the kitchen has a fridge, tiny stove and sink and table with 3 benches. The bathroom is clean and modern and the only problem we have is that the tub leaks somehow and so we need to dry the floor up after we shower and hang the towels outside on the little balcony. There isn’t a washer and never a dryer but we survive. Maybe we will send all the dirty clothes home with Dave and keep the clean ones J
We had about an hour to shower and dress up and then Okana and our driver for the day picked us up to go to the Social Services office. Once again the outside and hall and stairs of this building were appalling and I am sure that more than one person has been seriously injured on the stairs before but once we stepped into the actual office it was very nice. The women who worked there were friendly and happy to see us. They asked questions about our house and income and family . They really seemed to like Tyler and everywhere we went today they were amused by his sense of humor and ability with the language. He has been a huge help to us. We are lucky to have him!
After this chat which took too long since we really just wanted to see Vitaly, Alina and Oleg, we got to go back to the other side of the river to the orphanage. We experienced the crazy driving of Ukraine as the driver went ALL OVER THE ROAD to miss the potholes that are at least a foot deep here and everywhere.. It was like he was swerving everywhere on purpose and then to make up for time lost in swerving he would go really fast when he had any road ahead that was free of holes. More than once he was driving 90 miles an hour into a Babuska (little old grandma) crossing the road ahead. She would see him coming right at her and start walking as fast as she could to get across the road before he hit her and he would say “I can make it, I can make it” as if he was her. You kind of had to be there but we still laugh at this along with Oksana saying “ I am not the first day in this world.” Which is the same as “I wasn’t born yesterday.” We love to hear the literal translations of some common phrases. So much to laugh about everyday.
When we got to the orphanage they had sent the kids to school and someone went to pick them up. We waited for what seemed like forever and then they called and said that they had forgotten Vitaly at school and were going back to get him. Poor kid, I can see him running out of class and there is no one there to take him back to the orphanage When they walked in, we were in the social director’s office and they came walking in the hall and Oleg ran in with biggest smile ever. W e hugged and kissed him on the head (they were smaller than I remember) and then Vitaly hugged us both and then Alina came in trying to not smile but Dave said he saw a smile at one point. We were then taken to a room where I think they teach Home Ec or life skills and sat at a big table and talked and gave them some presents and had a great time getting reacquainted. They were so cute and hadn’t changed a bit except Alina’s hair is a little longer. Vitally and Oleg got very interested in my Ipod and Oleg found my camera and took about 200 pictures. (They all did actually) which will be really great when we get home. Andreas said to take a lot of pictures and so we are working on that one.
We asked Alina a lot of questions about coming to America. She wouldn’t talk much and progressively became warmer and warmer to us. I had taken a little dog that when you press a button on his bag he wags his tail and nods his head yes. I had originally intended to give him to their little brother Zhenia but took him to give to Alina instead and while we were talking I held the dog and asked it if she should come and be in our family and the dog wagged his tail and nodded yes. She smiled. She had been hesitant to talk much and at one point I asked Oleg and Vitaly to show me some tricks with the soccor ball that we had sent them. Dave and Tyler talked to her and told her the experience he had had with telling the Garretts all these years that we were not going to adopt and then this year when he saw her picture he said “I just sat there for 2 hours knowing that we needed to host Alina and Oleg” Tyler said that it was like his mission when the words flowed freely and he said that he felt one with the speaker (Dave) and the listener (Alina) I think it touched her heart. We told her that we wanted to understand her feelings and fears.
We then took the kids to a pizza place that Oksana showed us. It was a great little place. On the walk over Oxana got right down to business and asked Alina what her issues were. Alina said that her Grandma had said that she didn’t want her to leave and that she would not consent to them being adopted. Oksana explained that her grandma didn’t have any rights and that it was completely Alina’s choice. She promised Alina that we would all go visit the Grandma and that she was not giving up her family here but that she would have more family and a mom and a dad. Dave thinks that she was mostly embarrassed that she has said that she doesn’t want to come and once that there was an open door again she ran right through it.
When we got back to the orphanage the social director and Oksana took us all back into the room and gave the kids papers and they all wrote their letters to the SDA saying that they wanted to be adopted in our family and that they were willing to have their names change and live in our family forever. We are still not sure what we are going to do about the names, but Oksana said that if we give them American names we need to do this now and so they wrote the letters. Alina was the first one done with hers. They then had to go to their activities. The orphanage seemed pretty structured. When Oleg went to get his soccer ball I followed him into the common room for his group. They have a big wardrobe that they close and tie closed with a piece of string. It was pretty cute. He calls every woman at the orphanage Mama and I am sure that they will miss him. Vitaly is the cutest boy ever and I think that he is so nice and fun that his group will really miss him too. When we were leaving the orphanage 2 boys were sitting on the step outside Oksana told them that we were adopting Vitaly and the one boy with freckles sat right down and looked like he was going to burst out crying. It broke my heart I went back and gave them some candy and gum and talked for a minute. I really wasn’t prepared for the disruption that this would be causing to take these dear children out of the lives of the others. I can see why Nanette is so willing to do all that they do to help these kids and their friends to have a home and possibly see each other again.
Right before we left, Alina ran out of her class and gave me and Tyler a huge hug. It was kind of like her saying, Let’s rerun the tape and try this again. She was smiling from ear to ear and I really think that she is happy at the prospect of being in our family.
We have loved talking to our kids at home with Skype. They skype our cell phone and since incoming calls are free we can talk as long as we want. They are all doing awesome and making it so easy to be away for now and not have to worry about 2 homefronts. I told Scott that we put his picture on the screen of our TV and instead of watching TV we watch Scott. He laughed. When the kids were in the orphanage with us right after they arrived the inspector asked the a couple of questions and one of them was “what is the name of the youngest member of this family” Vitaly and Oleg said immediately in unison, “Scote” It was cute!
We then took another thrill ride in Igor’s car to the other side of town to the notary to notarize the letters. We waited outside while they were translated and typed and then went inside to sign papers. The notary told us to sit down and Tyler hadn’t sat down and she said in Ukrainian to him to go ahead, sit down and so I whispered to him “sit down” and he laughed and said “thanks Mom” At one point in the process she said “Pokaw” which means goodbye but also something else and so Tyler said Ok “pokaw” and started to stand up like it was time to leave. The notary laughed and laughed and said she liked his sense of humor. I don’t know if they have a lot of sarcasm over here but they are getting a kick out of Tyler.
Okana looked over at me at one point in the visit that was all in Ukrainian and we were so tired I was trying so hard to keep my eyes open. She caught me with my eyes closed falling asleep and said something like “Mama is tired now” I will have to be more careful and get some sleep because everyone already thinks that taking care of 11 children is way too much work for one woman. I do like it when they say that we are too young to have 8 children and that grandmas are old and ugly here. I can’t understand exactly because their lives are simpler here in a lot of ways. They wear the same clothes every day and don’t have all the laundry. They cook a lot smaller variety of foods and keep things pretty basic. We should be the tired looking ones in the US with all our running to and fro. This experience will be good for us help us realize the important things and keep life more simple.
I hope to put on the blog a picture of Anya. I am pretty sure that Ruslana is staying with the family that wants to get legal guardianship of her until Monday. From everyone that I have talked to it is a pretty done deal. Oksana says that they like her and that she is helpful to them. When Tyler talked to her and translated the letters from the kids in the package the Meyers sent she was all smiles. She gave me a hug a couple of times and when Tyler asked if she wanted to go to America she didn’t say no this time. That was before she saw Alina’s enthusiasm about coming and so hopefully we will get a lot of time to talk to both girls and find out more. I hope to find Igor and Christina today and talk to them. Andre is doing better but still not back at the orphanage. I can’t wait to see our kids again today. We get to go at 1 oclock. We will probably go and see the grandma tomorrow and then go to the place where their little brother is on Monday. I want to see him and take some pictures but Dave is not sure if we wants to see him because he is afraid that he will also win our hearts. It is looking like they want to separate them but we will see what happens. There are mysteries ahead but so many of our worries are being alleviated each day we may actually relax at some point on this trip.
I never know how to end this blog each entry. Do I say Love Christy or Love ya (because anyone who is reading it must be someone we love and care about) or what? It seems empty to just quit writing. I guess I will just do what our missionay boys do and say “all is well” unless of course it isn’t well and in that case we probably wouldn’t have time to blog until it was well. So for today
All is Well
Christy
PS one sweet note. As I was downloading the pictures onto the computer I realized that 90 percent of the pictures that the kids were running around and taking yesterday were of us. I thought that they were getting pictures of things in the town etc but they are mostly of each other and Dave, Tyler and I. I think that a family is going to be a good gift for them. BTW. Yeah I know that vitally as a marijuana wrist band on J We are going to encourage them to give some things to their friends when we leave, especially that cute wristbandJ We may go shopping for a new one today.