Thursday, July 15, 2010
Chores and Work
If anyone ever thought that we were adopting to have extra help around the home, they need to come over to our house and see why that would be a really laughable reason to adopt :) Actually Spencer is really good at helping and when we ask him to help he pitches in and does whatever he can understand to do. Vitaly on the other hand seems to have some kind of false illusion that he is somehow waaaaaaaaaaaaaay above any kind of labor or effort and should be catered to at all times. I think he imagined that he would have servants working for him in America or something. When we ask him to do something he says "Oleg" then if we insist that he help, he tries to make someone else do it or stages a sit in and refuses. He has lowered himself to take out the trash a couple of times and I did witness him pulling a weed today and he has helped willingly very rarely but most of the time he is mumbling and muttering in Russian as he reluctantly gives a meager effort. I was getting pretty upset about this and so I tried a little experiment and it worked (so far.) I told the kids that we were going to work today and so we moved some furniture and books and then went outside to move some water on the lawn and work in the garden. Vitaly was doing the sour look, murmuring thing and giving me dirty looks everytime I reminded him to stop jumping on the trampoline and help. Usually this would make me upset but this time I just had to try not to laugh. As we were working in the garden I decided to do a "sow and reap" activity. I told the kids that I would take them to dollar Tree and give them money according to how much work they did. This fueled the fire under Spencer and Scott but Vitaly layed on the grass and pulled a weed or two when someone said "Hey Vitaly, help us" etc. After the work we cleaned up and went to lunch and to Dollartree. The other kids got 3-4 dollars and Vitaly only got $1. He got the message. When we got home, he went in the kitchen and took out the trash for the first time ever without being asked. He went out and got the newspaper (which we don't ask him to do, he just likes to get it and the mail.) His attitude seemed to change immediately. The rest of the day he was an angel and seemed to be trying to make us happy whenever he could. He actually hugged me, played one of the songs I wrote over and over on the computer and tried to sing some of it, (this is a huge change from the annoying rap music he brought from Ukraine.) He told Dave that he loved him, and was such a nice kid the rest of the day. At bedtime there was not the usual resistance. It was amazing. I hope it lasts :)
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That is SO funny about the dollars. It is funny how a few dollars will make these kids do just about anything. For $2, my daughter will do just about any chore around the house. In the beginning, we were at the dollar store every weekend. Now she is realizing that if she saves her dollars, she can buy clothes, shoes, and other things 13 yr old girls love. :) Even though you have to give them some dollars, they are doing the work and learning what is expected of them, so you are in fact teaching them a valuable lesson. They are also learning how to be kids, how kids should be!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is great. I laughed at the onion part. We have a similar experience with hot salsa at our home. As time goes on, I look forward to reading more crazy experiences you are having, in the same form you did while describing things in Ukraine. You've got a talent. Between you and Wendy, how am I supposed to get any work done! hahaha
Awww Andreas-you're too kind. She's a much better writer than I! (Or is it me?)
ReplyDeleteI am just grinning about your post Christy! Alex still struggles to do a good job some days. He always does his work and quickly but it's the quality of work in question.
I'm so glad your plan worked! And I hope it keeps working!